Last month John and I celebrated our fifteenth wedding anniversary. We both readily agree that our anniversary is far more a celebration of God’s faithfulness than our accomplishment. Fifteen years ago, the two of us had enough baggage to fill a fleet of semi-trucks. (These days we like to think we’ve downsized to a couple of moving vans). Undoubtedly, we are still figuring this marriage thing out. But by God’s grace, we are not only still married, we are glad to be. We often tell each other, “Just remember, if you decide to leave me, I’m going with you.” I don’t have any marriage advice to offer. I’d feel like a fraud if I did. But one thing I’ve learned in fifteen years of marriage is how to pray for my husband. Here are three ways I pray for John daily.
- I pray for him to love Christ above all things (Mark 12:30-31). If John’s love for Christ isn’t the driving force in his life, then everything else will be out of whack, including our marriage. This applies to all people. When one of the scribes asked Jesus which commandment was the most important Jesus responded, “And you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.” This is a constant prayer request I make for John and myself because everything rises and falls on our love for Christ.
- I pray for our marriage (Eph 5:25, Eph 5:33). I believe the enemy targets Christian marriages and I don’t want to leave mine vulnerable. I want to cover it in prayer. I pray daily that John and I will only have a love and attraction for one another. Also, I pray that our marriage models the words Paul wrote in Eph 5. Specifically, I pray that John will love me the way Christ loves the church (Eph 5:25) and I will respect my husband (Eph 5:33). Early on, I made mistakes in this area. When I’d get angry with John, I’d say something sarcastic or roll my eyes when he said something I disagreed with. My responses were sometimes disrespectful and now I make it a point to pray that God removes these tendencies from my personality and makes me repulsed by them. My husband deserves my respect even when I disagree with him.
- I ask John how I can specifically be praying for him. I know my husband better than anyone else, but sometimes he surprises me with his requests. On some occasions, he’s asked me to pray for something I wouldn’t have had a clue to pray for had I not asked. I’ve learned things about my husband I wouldn’t have known apart from asking how I can pray for him.
I’ll leave you with a quote from Tim Keller’s stellar book, The Meaning of Marriage: Facing the Complexities of Commitment with the Wisdom of God, “Marriage has the power to set the course of your life as a whole. If your marriage is strong, even if all circumstances in your life around you are filled with trouble and weakness, it won’t matter. You will be able to move out into the world in strength.”
Strong marriages don’t happen by accident. Let’s be people who pray for them.
