Last week I was running errands when I received a text message that made me so mad I broke out in hives. (No, I’m not exaggerating.) My reaction was rare because I’m usually even-tempered and not much rattles me. In fact, I don’t remember the last time I was so angry. But the text message contained untruths and false accusations about a loved one, and I felt a responsibility to set the record straight. Immediately—if not sooner.
As I sat in my car rehearsing my response, I realized I was on the verge of doing something stupid. There’s a vast difference between reacting and responding to a situation. Reacting is always a mistake.
Reacting involves defensiveness, and I had no reason to be defensive. On the other hand, responding calls for wisdom, and I need all the wisdom I can get.
So, how do we respond with wisdom when our emotions are threatening to get the best of us? I think there are at least 3 ways:
- Pause and ask for wisdom. James 1:5 says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him.” Simply pausing and asking God for direction about how to respond has the potential to save us from disaster. Scripture promises that God will provide wisdom if we seek it.
- Contemplate the Scriptures. As I sat in my car feeling livid, the words from Ephesians 4:26 came to mind, “Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger.” As I contemplated those words, I realized it would be foolish to respond while I was still angry. If we will pause to contemplate what the Word of God says, the Holy Spirit will be faithful to guide us to relevant passages that speak to our situation (John 14:26).
- Seek godly counsel before you respond. Proverbs 11:14 says, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.” We all have blind spots and areas of vulnerability in our lives. One of the benefits of Christian community is having people who are willing to offer wise counsel when we need it.
I hope I don’t get that mad again for a long time. I hope you don’t either. But if we find ourselves in a situation where our emotions are threatening to get the best of us, we will do well to pause and determine the wise way to respond. We’ll always be glad we did.
