Avoiding Gossip At All Cost

A few months ago, I listened to a conversation that pierced my heart, and I’ve thought about it several times since. I was standing in line at McCallister’s Deli during the lunch hour. As I waited, I overheard a group of women loudly gossiping about a co-worker. As they ate lunch, they made fun of her clothes, mimicked her voice, and speculated about her weight and dating life. Keep in mind this wasn’t a group of fourth-graders. They were professional women dressed in business suits gleefully mutilating their colleague. It was nauseating.

As they ruthlessly cackled about their co-worker, I envisioned her sitting alone in her car eating lunch. I imagined the dread she probably feels each morning as she gets ready for work. Bearing the brunt of gossip is crushing.

Trash-talk is rampant. Sadly, most of us have spoken poorly about someone behind his or her back. Regrettably, I have done the same. How many of us are quick to gather around the water cooler to hear the latest scoop? How many people do you know who routinely gossip about so-called friends? Blaise Pascal said, “Few friendships would survive if each one knew what his friend says of him behind his back.”

Gossip is a social cancer that creates a toxic environment and reflects poorly on those who engage. To put it plainly, gossip is a sin. The Bible warns about it on multiple occasions. In fact, the Scriptures go as far as to instruct Christians to avoid people who gossip. If you are in a relationship with someone who gossips, you can be sure that person gossips about you in your absence. “A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much.” (Proverbs 20:19).

Here are three ways to rid your life of gossip:

• If you have fallen into the habit of gossiping, ask God to change your heart. It’s easy to tell yourself you’ll just quit gossiping, but the truth is you’ll need God’s help. James 3:8 says, “But no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Just because human beings can’t control their tongues doesn’t mean that God can’t change us. What is impossible for men is possible with God (Luke 18:27). If you ask God to help you quit gossiping I believe that’s a prayer He will be glad to answer.
• Avoid people who are known to gossip. (Prov 29:19). If you are forced to share an office with someone who gossips this might be challenging. But if you refuse to engage in gossip or change the subject when the gossip begins, the person will get the point that you don’t want to take part. Initially, he or she may get irritated with you, and that’s fine. You’ll soon have a reputation as someone who avoids gossip at all costs, and that will build trust and credibility among your other colleagues. Gossip stops when potential listeners refuse to engage it.
• Refuse to speak poorly of others. A good rule of thumb is not to say anything about someone behind their back that we wouldn’t say in their presence. James 4:11a says, “Do not speak evil against one another brothers.” The Scriptures are crystal clear about our speech. Regarding negativity, most things are better left unsaid.

Our words are powerful. They have the potential to heal or destroy. I want my words to help and never hurt anyone. As writer Ann Voskamp said, “Only speak words that make souls stronger.”