I know a young man who sent a text message in a fit of anger, and his poorly chosen words prompted three family members to call their attorneys and write him out of their wills. Worse yet, his words destroyed these relationships. Words are powerful, and they come with consequences. The of Proverbs says:
“Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue keeps himself out of trouble” (Prov. 21:23).
All of us have spoken words we’d like to take back. I’ve been talking for more than four decades, and I can recall only two times when I stayed quiet and regretted not speaking up.
On the other hand, I can think of numerous times I’ve spoken and later realized I should’ve stayed quiet. Maybe you’ve had a similar experience. Managing our mouths has proven to be a universal struggle for all of humankind. The Bible says:
“For every kind of beast and bird, of reptile and sea creature, can be tamed and has been tamed by mankind, but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison” (James 3:7-8).
So, what do we do? Here are three suggestions that will help us manage our mouth:
- Pray about your words. King David prayed, “Set a guard, O Lord, over my mouth; keep watch over the door of my lips!” (Psalm 141:3). We don’t have the capability to tame our tongues, but nothing is impossible with God, and He can help us manage our mouths. The Bible warns us time and again to be careful with our words, so if we make it a habit to pray about our speech, I believe that’s a prayer God will be glad to answer.
- Be mindful of your words. We live in an era when people say things online they would never say in person, but we need to be mindful of what we say in every context of life. The apostle Paul wrote, “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” (Eph. 4:29). We need to ask ourselves questions like, “Is what I’m saying true? Is it necessary? If it helpful? If the answer to any of these questions is “no,” it’s wise to stay quiet.
- Pause before you speak. Proverbs 29:20 says, “Do you see a man who is hasty in his words? There is more hope for a fool than for him.” It’s a mistake to rush our speech. When in doubt, let some time pass before deciding what to say. Once words are spoken, they can be apologized for—but they can’t be taken back. Rather than speaking in the heat of the moment, it’s much wiser to tell the person you are communicating with that you need time to think about the matter. Later, you can return to the conversation when you are level-headed and say, “I’ve been thinking about “XYZ” and here are my thoughts.”
Our words are serious business. Jesus said, “I tell you, on the day of judgment people will give account for every careless work they speak, for by your words you will be justified, and by your words you will be condemned” (Matt. 12:36-37). By the end of our lives, we’ll all have spoken an incalculable number of words. They have the potential to bring about an incredible amount of good or catastrophic harm. Let’s choose them wisely.
