What My Dog’s Separation Anxiety Reminded Me About God

Last fall, my husband and I brought home a Golden Doodle puppy named Shug. He’s everything you’d want a puppy to be—playful, smart, funny, easy to train, and cute. I know I am partial, but he is the ideal dog in most ways. As far as I can tell, he’s only got one flaw: he suffers from separation anxiety. It started the day after we brought him home. Shug’s anxiety is not the type that most dogs deal with when their owners leave the house. Most dogs pace for a few minutes and then resign themselves to the fact that you’ve gone. Not Shug—he trembles, pants, paces, and howls. The longer we are gone, the more his panic escalates. I won’t bore you with the long list of things we’ve tried, but I assure you, we’ve sought counsel from three vets, a trainer specializing in separation anxiety, and enrolled Shug in training classes.

Of all the things we’ve tried, the most effective thing has been desensitization exercises. The idea is to use short intervals of absence to teach Shug that being alone isn’t scary. The training exercises call for me to go in and out of the house numerous times and stay gone anywhere from 5 to 45 seconds. As Shug watches, he sees me going in and out, and the idea is for him to realize that he can handle a short absence with little to no anxiety. He also sees that I always come back. After going in and out several times, on my last departure, I stay out of the house for about 25 minutes—that’s Shug’s threshold right now—the length of time he can stay alone without getting anxious. (I know that doesn’t sound like much, but when we started, his threshold was only 30 seconds). Shug doesn’t know it, but when we train, I’m right outside the door and watching him on camera. He thinks he’s alone but he’s not. If he starts getting overly anxious, I can stop the training session and intervene. But the goal is to push him to his limit each session without exceeding his threshold. Out of all things we have tried, this has been the most effective and he continues to improve with each session.

One day, in the middle of training, I realized my faith journey has looked a lot like Shug’s. In fact, he and I are more alike than I prefer to admit:

• Over the years, how often have I been terrified of something that God knew wasn’t scary?
• How many times have I feared that God had “gone missing” when in reality, He was just out of sight, watching my every move—ready to intervene at the first hint of danger?
• How often has God forced me outside my comfort zone (or to the peak of my threshold) so I could mature into the person He designed me to be?

If we’re honest, many of us are a lot like Shug. And yet God’s word says,

Do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be afraid, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you; I will help you;
I will hold on to you with my righteous right hand (Isa. 41:10).

Shug’s struggles aren’t over yet. We still have work to do, but that fabulous boy of mine is making progress. And in the meantime, I love him right where He is at—but I also love him too much to let him stay as he is. Keep in mind, I am a deeply flawed human being who has committed to the well-being of a puppy. How much more do you you suppose the Holy God of the universe commits to caring for His children?

As a father has compassion on his children,
so the Lord has compassion on those who fear him.
For he knows what we are made of,
remembering that we are dust (Psa. 103:13-14).

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