When someone commits an offense against us, our first inclination is to tell other people. We want others to know about our offender’s poor behavior and the injustice we’ve suffered. As a result, there’s a temptation to fall into the trap of gossip. The Bible repeatedly warns about the sins of our mouth. The book of Proverbs offers another option. Rather than resorting to gossip, we can choose to remain silent about the issue. Solomon identified this as a way we foster love:
“Whoever covers an offense seeks love, but he who repeats a matter separates close friends (Prov. 17:9).
Gossip gets negative publicity in the New Testament (Rom. 1:29, 2 Cor. 12:20). Some people believe that to gossip means to share information that isn’t true, and therefore, it what they are saying is true, it’s not classified as gossip. That’s an incorrect assessment. Gossip includes repeating information that has the potential to embarrass someone, sharing personal information that doesn’t need to be publicly known, or spreading lies and falsehoods.
The book of James has strong words for those who don’t watch their mouths: “With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse human beings, who have been made in God’s likeness. Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers and sisters, this should not be” (James 3:9-10).
Gossip creates a toxic environment and reflects poorly on those who participate. Solomon went as far as to warn his readers to stay away from people who gossip (Prov. 20:19). When someone sins against us, the wise thing to do is remain silent. (To be sure, there are exceptions. If someone is inflicting serious harm or abuse, then silence is not the answer). But in many cases, it is. Blaise Pascal said, “Few friendships would endure if each knew what his friend said of him in his absence.” An excellent rule of thumb is to resolve not to say anything behind a person’s back that you wouldn’t say in his or her presence.
It’s easy to say we’ll quit gossiping, but we can’t do it without God’s help. James 3:8 says, “No human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.” Even though we can’t tame our tongues, it doesn’t mean that God can’t change us. What’s impossible for human beings is possible with God (Luke 18:27).
Thoughts to Ponder:
- What kind of shape would your relationship be in if your family and friends overheard everything you said about them?
- Are you inclined to gather around the watercooler at work and listen to the latest scoop on your co-workers?
- Do you find it difficult to keep from sharing information you know other people would find interesting?
- What steps do you need to take to get a handle on your speech?
