Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said, “You’re the average of the five people you spend the most time with.[1] There’s no doubt that our closest friends influence our behavior, thinking, and decisions. The right people can make us stronger, but the wrong friends are a negative influence. The Bible warns that we should avoid making friends with hot-tempered people and those who gossip. The book of Proverbs says:
“Make no friendship with a man given to anger, nor go with a wrathful man, lest you learn his ways and entangle yourself in a snare “(Prov. 22:24-25).
On occasion, all of us become angry. But there’s a difference between someone who is occasionally angered and someone who is habitually outraged. In the Hebrew language, a “hot-tempered person” (v.24) literally means a “possessor of anger” or “lord of rage.” One who is “easily angered” is a “man of wrath.”[2] Scripture warns us not to make friends with chronically angry people because we may develop a similar problem. Similarly, the book of Proverbs also warns about making friends with someone who gossips:
“A gossip betrays a confidence; so avoid anyone who talks too much” (Prov. 20:19).
You can rest assured that if someone gossips to you, they will also gossip about you. Gossip is a social that creates a toxic environment and reflects poorly on those who engage. People who gossip can’t be trusted—so what’s the point of developing a friendship with someone you can’t trust?
Keep in mind, no one is perfect, and therefore we’ll never be or find the perfect friend. And God hasn’t called any of us to be spiritual loners. We need people in our life. You can scour the Scriptures from Genesis to Revelation, and you won’t find a single instance of a man or woman in the Bible who encouraged anyone to “go it alone.” Life is hard, and the enemy is fierce. Lonely people are vulnerable. But we need to choose our friends wisely. A big part of finding good friends is learning to be a good friend, and the book of Proverbs has plenty to teach us about what it takes to have healthy relationships. As we grow in wisdom, our relationships will be impacted positively, and our friendships will increase in number and depth.
Thoughts to Ponder:
How would you describe the quality of your friendships?
Are you a good friend?
What steps can you take to make new friends or deepen the
friendships you already have?
[1] https://www.businessinsider.com/jim-rohn-youre-the-average-of-the-five-people-you-spend-the-most-time-with-2012-7
[2] Max Anders, Holman Old Testament Commentary: Proverbs (Nashville, TN: Holman, 1984), 198.
