Unfortunately, these days it’s not entirely uncommon to hear stories of prominent pastors or ministry professionals who have compromised their family and ministry over an inappropriate sexual relationship. Temptation is a lifelong struggle for all of us, and none of us are immune. To complicate matters, the enemy of our souls delights in seeing God’s people stumble into destruction (John 10:10). If you think you couldn’t fall prey, you’re in dangerous territory because we’re all vulnerable—and we need to watch ourselves. God takes sexual sin seriously. He knows that sex outside the bonds of a marriage covenant is detrimental to the human soul. He communicated the importance of marital faithfulness by addressing the topic in the Ten Commandments. The seventh commandment says, “You shall not commit adultery” (Exodus 20:14).
King Solomon was a man who sinned in this area more than most. First Kings 11:3 says, “He had seven hundred wives of royal birth and three hundred concubines, and his wives led him astray.” Solomon learned from experience that adultery leads to disaster. In Proverbs 5, Solomon was writing to his son and pleading with him to avoid the trap of adultery. Undoubtedly, Solomon had high hopes his son could avoid the trap he had fallen in.
Notably, Solomon warned that sexual unfaithfulness begins with flattery. To most of us, flattery seems innocent enough. After all, it’s just words, right? But Solomon wrote, “For the lips of a forbidden woman drip honey, and her speech is smoother than oil, but in the end she is bitter as wormwood, sharp as a two-edged sword. Her feet go down to death; her steps follow the path to Sheol” (Prov. 5:3-5).
Men and women alike thrive on attention so it’s not surprising we fall for flattery. It usually begins in a way that seems harmless. Perhaps a neighbor or coworker gives compliments or offers their undivided attention. Or maybe someone you used to date reaches out on social media and pours out the praise. Keep in mind, Solomon described the adulterous persons lips as ones that “drip honey” and has speech that is “smoother than oil” (v.3). But these words are bait while the hook is hidden from view. What begins in fun ends in sorrow. Solomon wrote that when it’s over those same words are “bitter as wormwood” (v.4).
You might be thinking, “But what’s wrong with a compliment?” And my answer is—absolutely nothing. We all need encouragement and a kind word is a beautiful thing. But there’s a distinct difference between a kind word and flattery. A kind word is genuine and rings true. The person who offers a kind word isn’t seeking anything in return or being manipulative. Flattery comes across as insincere and excessive and originates from an ulterior motive. Deep down we know the difference, but we overlook it, and we do so at our own peril. I’ll leave you with a couple things to think about.
Thoughts to Ponder:
- Am I mindful of the difference between a kind word and flattery? Do I entertain flattering comments?
- Do I flatter other people? Do my words come from a genuine place or do I have an ulterior motive? Do I say things I wouldn’t repeat in mixed company?
- What changes do I need to make in my speech?
